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Hanukkah (Is Just Christmas' B​-​Side)

by Andy Beckerman

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about

Naomi and I were joking in an intro a few weeks ago about me writing a Hannukah banger. Well, it turns out I can't write a banger, but I can write an indie rock bop...???

I set out to create a pro-Hanukkah song, but when I let my muse fly it turns out I just "resent" that everyone pays attention to Hanukkah because it's in the orbit of Christmas. It's really a minor holiday, but pop culture treats it as special just cuz it's near the biggest Christian holiday of the year... WTF, man!

I mean, I don't actually care, but you know, apathy doesn't make for a funny song.

Enjoy! I'm putting this up for free if you want it. If you feel like kicking us a buck or two, I'll donate everything to our favorite homeless outreach non-profit SELAH!

Happy Hanukkah!

lyrics

Lyrics:
It’s such a tiny minor holiday, I wish we’d just concede
Its status derived solely out of some yuletide proximity

I’m sick of seeing the world through
A pair of Christian eyes
Let’s burn the manger down, the Magi’s
camels euthanize

Christmas can go fuck itself this year
It’s just some pagan holiday co-opted
With some bells and whistles
Ornaments of Scottish thistle

Christmas can go fuck itself this year
I’m sick of explaining to goyim
Menorahs, Maccabees, etcetera
Can we avoid it?

I’d rather be a Scientologist
And stuck wherever Shelly is
Than keep pretending that this
trifle is significant

Christmas can go fuck itself this year
Hanukkah’s not that high-profile

Yom Kippur is more important
Rosh Hashannah’s more important
Pesach is much more important
Tu BiShvat is probably on par

credits

released December 24, 2022
Instruments and vocals by Andy Beckerman
Guitar solo by Geoff Garlock
Additional vocals by Naomi Ekperigin

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Couples Therapy Los Angeles, California

Couples Therapy is a comedy podcast hosted by real life couple Naomi Ekperigin and Andy Beckerman. Podcast every Tuesday, live Twitch show every Wednesday at 2pm PST!

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